As I have mentioned before, I often answer all kind of questions in my social medias, crazy questions, funny, silly, serious, BJJ and non BJJ related.
I enjoy answering, even if take me a bit longer than I wish for to do so, but I try to answer all of them, many times I can take lessons from it and here I have a perfect example, a friend from US, purple belt, wrote me saying he felt like he was stagnated, he felt his Jiu Jitsu was not progressing for a while. I said that from my experience this is part of the process, I can even dare to say that to move forward, many times you will take a step or two back before.
Later on this same friend wrote me saying he was embarrassed by his terrible performance while training with a visitor, but reading his description of what happened, I realized that he was seeing the facts from a terrible perspective, check out our conversation and tell me with you agree with what I told him:
I rolled with a new guy... a white belt whos an MMA fighter and it was a 8-10 minute scramble... i'm 45 he's 22... i was constantly trying to keep up with him... i did finally take his back and slide choke him but I walked out embarrassed because i'm a "higher" belt and didnt want my professor to look bad because that kid bested me... I feel like... i want to be a source of pride for my professor and my presence and actions on the mat directly reflect him... and I walk out not living up to the quality that represents my professor... u know? My performance reflects back on him... and its hard... i take representing my school seriously...
HERE is what I wrote him back:
So you are saying that you at 45, was able to roll with a 22 years old MMA fighter, survive for 8-10 minutes, at some point got his back and choke him and you think you embarrassed someone?
HIS answer to my other perspective:
jesus... i didn't think like that... it just seemed like such a struggle to get there.. thank you sir...
I think all of us have the same problems, often we see things from a wrong perspective and if no one get you back in track or show you the best perspective of it, can lead to depression, discouragement and taking bad decisions. To make even harder, some times we only hear or see this better perspective if someone from a different friendship circle or family tells us. So next time you are having a hard time, think about this, talk with different people and I'm sure you will realize it's not as bad as it seens. Hardly ever is.
As a teacher, I can say I will never feel a student have let me down if he is trying his best. As I always say, the ultimate goal should be to be come the best you can be! Felipe Costa